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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Royal Wedding Fever!

"Ello Govena! 'Ows about a spot of tea? Top of the mornin' to ya, Lassie!"
No, I'm not doing a Madonna impression, my new British accent is nothing more than a side effect of Royal Wedding Fever!!!   I've got a raging case of it, and after reading this blog, you will too! (It's spreading faster than a cold sore at the Playboy Mansion.)
Symptoms include: Unapoligetic hat wearing, upper lip stiffening and rampant chimney sweeping. 

An outbreak of royal wedding fever is harder to take down than SARS, SwineFlu and even Beiber!  Why? you may ask, or scream into your pillow. "WHY?!!!"

It's all because William and Kate are living a modern day fairy tale! (Haven't you been watching TV?) Every little girl grows up dreaming of marrying a handsome Prince... or a super rich guy with 40% of his hair. OMG! She gets to do both!



Staring Tori Spelling in a role that will surprise you!



Kate is living my fantasy. (You know the one where I don't die alone.) She's a princess bride, wears designer fashions, owns dazzling jewels and even has her own Lifetime movie.
That's how freaking awesome Kate is...she hasn't even been traumatized yet!! Getting a Lifetime movie BEFORE your life is in shambles is like the most baller thing a woman can do. It's like pouring Gatorade on the coach before the game has even started!  BOOYAH!!!




  People love WillKat so much becuase they're so modern and hip, I heard they're even gonna tweet their vows to each other! #thisisgoingtoendbadly



The Royal Wedding Day is going to be EPIC!!!  Everyone is already comparing it to the most extravagant and romantic nuptials in history... like Charles and Diana and of course Britney and K- Fed.

I bet William and Kate are going to end up just as happy!

  (I forget, which ones wore "Pimp" and "Ho" valour sweatsuits to the reception?)




In an unprecedented lapse in laziness, I'll be back every day this week updating you with everything Royal Wedding! Stay tuned to see how sad my life has become! 


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