Craftaholics Anonymous

When you're just not that into you, waking up in the morning is terrible.

Not only do you have to face another day, you're probably hungover.

Some people frown upon getting blackout drunk... but not me. The more of my life I can forget, the better.

People often underestimate the positives of binge drinking, but there are many. It's a great excuse as to why no one wants to date you, or be with you in social settings, why you don't have a career, why you fall down all the time, and why you mouth raped a clown at your little cousin's 7th Birthday party.

Being a single girl in NYC is so craaaaaaazy, you guys! I woke up this morning totally naked with glitter everywhere. My head was pounding,  I was wearing a wig,  and my body was covered in burns.


I must have been out partying with a bunch of hot dudes or something, 'cause I'm so cool.
 Did you hear that everyone I went to high school with? I'm really cool now.

 I thought about calling my gal pals to try and piece together the evening... then I remembered, oh yeah, I don't have any.

 I was at home by myself drinking & making crafts!

Like to live dangerously? Try using a hot glue gun in the nude!

Hemingway, Poe, Van Gogh, Baker... We're just your typical creative genius/tortured soul types

 who love getting our drink on!

Follow these simple steps, and you too can live in a world of hurt, while creating your masterpiece!

All you need is:

Glitter/Sequins/Feathers

Glue

Vodka

Step 1: Drink vodka

Step 2: Awake in a glittery wonderland!

  

It's just that simple to have your normal household objects become works of art!

Like...

YOUR TOASTER!

Not only does this look amazing, it's also highly flammable!

YOUR TOILET PAPER!

So that's why I'm bleeding back there!!!!

YOUR SYRUP!

Stickier than the floor at a 25 cent peep show!
(and almost as classy)

YOUR FRIENDS! (or in my case, friend)

I'm lonely!!!



Ain't no party like a craftin' party, cause a craftin' party don't stop!

It just goes to show you that there's NOTHING glitter CAN'T fix!!!

(Except alcoholism)