It's Thanksgiving! The holiday when we celebrate the Pilgrims and Indians coming together as friends to eat a buttload of maize in celebration of Sacajawea's birthday. As the legend goes, that same night, Christopher Columbus brought out a magic turkey who laid golden eggs and granted wishes to everyone on the Mayflower. Then, I guess, there was a bit of raping.
Recently my imagination was raped when I went to Plymouth Rock. I felt totally violated to see that it's only about the size of a pebble! It's completely shocking that history hasn't been represented properly. Next thing I know someone is going to tell me Helen Keller wasn't really hiding in an attic for 40 days and 40 nights. Come on!!!
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| "We didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us!" What's the deal with this famous quote from Denzel Washington? That rock would barely cause a bruise if it hit you. No need to be so militant, dude! |
Most of us have forgotten the history of the first Thanksgiving, and who really cares.
One of the worst things about Thanksgiving today is how thankful everyone is.
"I'm so grateful for this, I'm so grateful for that."
Goodie for you! You're so happy. You're so blessed. God loves you the most. Stop bragging already.
I'm thankful for all the "Debby Downers" of the world. As you pass the mashed potatoes, send out a prayer to that member of your family who declares a message of gratitude such as, "I'm just so thankful that my beloved cat Mr.Stinky didn't live to see how bad my Gout is acting up."
Or the friend with the Facebook status, "So thankful I can get blackout drunk and forget this holiday, fml."
Today as we celebrate Thanksgiving let us keep in mind the real reason for the season. It isn't your family, or football, or even the magic turkey's golden eggs. Today is about one thing and one thing only...binge eating without shame, and for that I am truly thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!
Love it!!!!!
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