Take it from someone who has been living quite comfortably* off of her Princess Diana commemorative Beanie Baby for some time now, Royal memorabilia is a cash cow you are going to want to milk the $#*@ out of!
*By living quite comfortably: I'm talking, unlimited tap water and dollar pizza paid for in all dimes! Be sure to check out my episode of Cribs...not the MTV show, the show where people live in apartments no larger than a standard baby crib.
Most Accountants (that I've made up) say it's safer and more profitable to invest in Royal Memorabilia than any other stocks or bonds in the world. It's widely accepted to spend 3 months salary on such items. Trust me, it's worth every penny (my parents paid for my college with a Duchess of York Weight Watchers Poster.)
There's no shortage of Royal Wedding Memorabilia out there...
You can buy everything from Refrigerators to Tea Bags.
In tough economic times like these, you need to know what WillKat memorabilia will get you the best return rate (not that you'd ever want to part with any of it!)
Lucky for you, I've created my own Royal Wedding memorabilia for sale! I'm no fool, I'm jumping on this Royal Gravy train! My collection features only the most elegant and valuable collector's items.
Feast your eyes, and wallets, on my BEST sellers!
Quantities are limited...so call now! (Seriously can you call me? I'm lonely!)
Royal Wedding VHS Tape
Now just 19.99!
There's no better way to relive the Wedding of the Century then by owning it on VHS tape. Of course, the Royal Wedding hasn't happened yet, so it's just a video of me in a brown wig speaking in a British Accent and singing Spice Girls songs to my Bear (playing the part of Will.) Most historians agree this is far more valuable.
The Will & Kate Royal VHS tape is the perfect way to commemorate the occasion...because what's more outdated and obsolete than a VHS tape...besides the Monarchy?
Kotex Royal
Now just $19.99!
Everyone is gushing about what a fashionista the Princess Bride is. Everything she wears is an overnight trend. (I've begun wearing a facinator to the gym!) Women from all over the world want to emulate Kitkat's one of a kind style. Now you too can be a "copy Kate" down to the very last detail! Even to what she wears when the Duchess of Flo comes a calling!
Introducing "Kotex Royal" The most luxurious of feminine products for a bloody good time!
Commemorative Collector's Commemorating Plate
Now just $19.99
I'm sure you've seen ads for Commemorative Plates depicting the Royal Wedding, but none of them commemorated ME commemorating Will & Kate's nuptials. Finally there is! My Commemorative Collector's Commemorating Plate comes with a signed certificate of authenticity. It's not only beautiful, but valuable. It will turn even the most dilapidated trailer home into a castle fit for a Queen! Whether displayed on your mantle or under a frozen burrito, with its fine detail and craftsmanship you simply can't go wrong.
Invest in any one of my Royal Wedding Collector's Items, and I personally guarantee they will someday be worth hundreds, thousands, or maybe even millions (of pennies) someday!
HOPE YOU AREN'T SICK OF ROYAL WEDDING UPDATES...
I'll be back again tomorrow with my final countdown to the Wedding of the Century!!!
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