Puttin' the "Ho" in Holy Week!

We'll make you rise like Jesus on Easter!

As you can probably tell by the amount of shame and self hatred I feel, I'm a big time Catholic. I even dreamed of becoming a Nun like in The Sound of Music, until I (much like Maria) learned the pleasures of the flesh.  Let's just say we both found something a hell of a lot better than bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...Dudes!

       

"Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ray, a drunken one night staaaand!" -Slutty Maria Von Trapp

Ladies, if you want to snag a date for Mass on Easter Sunday, or hunt eggs with a hottie... You can't fail with these whore tested, Pope approved, Catholic pick up lines! I've weeded through the riff-raff to bring you only the best!  (Not the played out: "Is that a crucifix in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?")

"You'll be mating like us in no time." -Catholic Bunnies

TOP 10 CATHOLIC PICK UP LINES 
"Guaranteed to help you make like an Easter egg and get laid!"

10. I put the lick in Catholic.

9. Looking for a good missionary position.

8. I  always turn the other cheek.

7. I spend a lot of time on my knees.

6.  I haven't been this wet since my baptism!

5. I call so many guys "Father," I'll have no problem calling you "Daddy!"

4. No condoms!

3. I'm really into cross dressing.

 

2. STD's? I've got Nun!

and the NUMBER ONE Catholic pick up line is....

 

1. I've had The Body of Christ, now how about the body of Steve?

 

Now if only you could find a guy as ripped as Jesus!

Happy Easter!!