I Love You, Me!

5 Ways to Be Your OWN Valentine

Single again this year? Wow how many years has that been now? No worries, with a little self love (just for today) you can have a sensational solo Valentine's Day with your own special sweetheart...YOU! 

1. Shop at Victoria's Secret!

So what if no one is ever going to see it. You deserve a silky treat!

Buy yourself a G sting with "Very Sexy" written on it.

Oh wait, it's Valentine's Day, not opposite day.

(Better stick to the granny panties that say "asexual" all over them.)

2. Indulge in Some Chocolate and Champagne!

(Actually, you may want to stick to the hard stuff. Lots of feelings to kill today!)

Did you know chocolate can release the same endorphins as being in love? If you eat enough, you can trick your brain into feeling in love! (Too bad you can't trick anyone into loving your fat ass.)

Table for 1 please...

3.   Seduce Yourself!

You don't need a partner to use chocolate body paint!  Write on yourself and let the delicious fun begin! 

Sweet and sexy!!!

4. Make Yourself a Valentine!  

Hallmark-schmallmark. Get out the glitter, doilies, glue, and scissors. (Hey, hey, no cutting!)

It's time to get creative and express yourself this Valentine's Day!
Here's one from my collection...

Roses are Red, Violets are blue.

I don't feel like a woman anymore!

5. Be Your Own Secret Admirer!

Are you really the kind of girl who needs to get roses from someone on Valentine's Day to feel special?

Of course you are! Go ahead and get yourself that fragrant, overpriced bouquet of velvety soft red roses. You deserve it just as much as those other bitches in your office.  Sign the card from your secret admirer, and fantasize the night away about the mysterious, sexy man who may have sent them.

Oh darling, you shouldn't have...